Back to Reality

I fully intended to blog about my vacation with my mom, but a lack of reliable internet sort of put a damper on that plan. It is also completely non-academic, and although I have posted about things other than graduate school on this blog, I don't want to make that too much of a habit.

I will say though, vacations are important for maintaining the sanity of a graduate student. We all need breaks, and anyone who tells you any different is a dirty filthy liar. Our trip to Arizona was one of the better vacations I've taken in a long time, and it was nice to finally see the Grand Canyon. It wouldn't be the kind of thing I'd want to do every year; but, sometimes just staring over something so vast and outside of yourself is what you need to bring everything else in reality back into perspective. It's the main reason I miss being close to an ocean, and why I want to see the Pacific some day.

Hance Rapids. Taken with my mobile, so forgive the lousy quality.

But now I'm back to reality. First, I'm going to do the cliche thing and comment on how I can't believe that it is June already. I'm completely unapologetic about this. Summer intercession is almost over, and come Monday there will once again be college students wandering about. This won't change my working environment much, though. Working in my office over the past few weeks has been incredibly boring. No one is around, and by that I mean I sit in my office for 8 hours by myself, only seeing other human beings when I leave to go to the bathroom or get food/coffee. The PiBBS space is a different world when classes aren't in session. Furthermore, I think a lot of other people are traveling, so it is extra dead.

Another dose of reality came recently when I finally got my rejection letter for a big grant I had applied for back in the fall. The big yellow envelope of depression showed up right before I was going to Arizona, so I put off reading its contents until I got back. I finally went over the reviewer comments the other day. I had myself mentally prepared to get ripped to shreds, but it actually wasn't that bad. I agreed with pretty much everything the reviewers had to say, and they will help me write a stronger proposal for the next go around. Three years of support is just too good to not try again. I didn't really expect to get it this time around, they only funded something like 80 proposals with this particular award.

The reviews I got were also mixed. One reviewer rated my entire application as "fair" and provided the most detailed comments and criticisms. The other two rated it as "good" and "excellent". Even I know that my application wasn't "excellent", so I'm going to just go ahead and average everything out and say that I did "good" on my first attempt. Which isn't too shabby. All three reviewers commented that the whole proposal was really well written. The primary complaints were that I didn't elaborate more on my methods and statistics and that I was vague about the broader impacts. It was only a 5 page proposal, so I'm going to have to really try to fit some of these details in and trim up other areas. I'll also have some publications by the time I try again, so that will also boost my application.

The complaints about my broader impacts section kind of threw me, however. Almost all funding agencies now require applicants to explain how they are going to make the world a better place with their research. Kind of like a Miss America pageant for scientists. I thought I had included enough in this section, but clearly not. Apparently they wanted to know how the specific project I was proposing would be relevant to my community (aka NM). I was more broad about how my activities as a scientist were beneficial to my community. Wrong! Looking back on it, I can easily make my project applicable to NM because it is on the role of large carnivores in communities. NM has a lot of issues with wolf populations and managing their larger carnivores, so this should have been a no brainer. But I wasn't sure what they wanted from me and I gave them the "wrong" thing. Next time I'll know better. These sections are becoming more important and less of a kiss-off, and now I know to put more into it.

The next month is going to be all about me tying up loose ends with projects, and thinking about my comprehensive exams. I'm thinking those will happen in the fall, but I'm kind of on the fence about it. We'll see.

Introducing... Donut the Kitty Cat!

On Tuesday we finally brought home our new kitty from the lady who's been fostering him. Yes, I'm allergic to cats, but I'm more or less permanently on allergy medication because a) I'm allergic to a bunch of other things I can't avoid and b) most people I know have a cat or some kind of pet that would bother me if I wasn't on meds. I've always had a cat, or had room mates that have cats, and I just enjoy having one so much.

I've never owned a kitten before. Donut is about 7 months old and despite starting to get big, he's still very much a baby. You can tell he still had a lot of growing to do, his paws seem big and his tail is super long, about the length of his body. His behavior is also still very kitten like; his eyes have been dilated ever since we brought him home, and he is almost constantly in play mode (I've missed most of his cuddly moments because they seem to always happen when I'm at school). I will say, though, that he sat in my lap first. He adjusted remarkably quick, and seemed comfortable after only a few hours. He hasn't tried hiding from us or anything.

This is Donut back in December when we first saw him at PetCo, and before we decided we were definitely going to adopt him. He was already pretty big then, but I swear he seems smaller now.

Taken with the web cam on my new computer. Bad quality, but I'll try to get additional pictures of us together.

Matt took this one while I was at school. That's one content looking cat!

Like most cats, Donut has been waking us up at 5am. Between wanting to suck on my fingers, kneading, purring loudly, and climbing around he is both adorable and frustrating. I know he'll probably grow out  of the cuddlier behavior, and I'll miss it. I also realize this is just part of having a kitten and teaching it to behave in a certain way. Matt has been looking up ways to try and get him to not play bite or attack our feet while we're trying to sleep. As fun as I find under the blanket chase games, I prefer sleeping. He also seems to prefer sucking (nursing?) my hand, and hasn't really done that to Matt since we got him home.

Over all he's a sweet little boy, and I'm already pretty attached. He's absolutely adorable and a ton of fun. I'd say he's good about 90% of the time, and hasn't been destructive really. We're still trying to gauge how he's going to be with Allen the guinea pig, and we don't trust him yet. I think he was used to playing rough with other cats, and that would just be too much. I'm afraid he'd hurt Allen unintentionally, I don't necessarily think he would try and eat him. He does seem very curious about the guinea pig, and is a little freaked out by him too. That's pretty much to same reaction that my room mates' cats had in the past.

I'll try to keep my blog posts more PhD oriented, but my personal life I a huge part of my time here in NM. We'll see how having a new furry room mate will affect it.

Home for the Holidays 2011

I consider myself fortunate to get so much time off to see friends and family for Christmas and New Years. The one thing I will say about being a perpetual student is that getting a nice long winter break is... nice. Far less stressful, and I can't begin to imagine what it would be like trying to squeeze so much into a shorter break. Having three weeks definitely takes the stress off of me. I don't like it much that Matt's family and my family will probably never or rarely get together for a holiday, but having the time to commute between various states makes it okay after all.

I spent an evening in Pennsylvania with Matt and his family, and then drove him back to CT. His parents always go to visit with his grandfather, and Matt went there again this year. We've been in a relationship for three years and haven't had a Christmas together, but maybe next year. My aunts are starting to get disappointed, since they are the only family members who haven't met him yet, ha. I at least get to spend the beginning of the new year with him, and we're going out with my friend Jenn and some of her friends.

2011 has been an okay year. Nothing really bad happened to me personally, but I know it was rough for a lot of people I know and care about. I'm always happy to see a new year go, actually. I have no sentimental feelings in particular for the passing of time. I don't like looking back and realizing that it's been so long between events, though. It doesn't feel like that much time has passed, even though I know it has. Hell, I've been in graduate school for a total 4 1/2 years already. That's nuts.

The only resolution I'm making this year is a very broad one, I'm going to start taking better care of myself. No more going weeks without going outside and getting some exercise. No more eating badly. No more drinking a lot. Less coffee, unless it's to catch up with friends. Eliminate an much stress from my life where possible. That last one is the biggest thing.

Wrapping up the Semester

It's that time of the semester, where I'm in a perpetual state of "just about finished" before the break. I have three class sessions and two assignments left before I am done with Fall 2011. I finished my paper for paleoclimate seminar that is due tomorrow... the other project is for PiBBS and is really poorly defined. This is lack of instruction has made it annoying and difficult to do, and I just don't feel compelled to do it since the instructor didn't take the effort to assign a clear project. I will, of course, do something just to get through this.

It's also that time of the year where it's really hard for me to find the motivation to get through the last bit of the semester. For one thing, it's starting to get colder, and it would just be so easy to stay in bed in the morning. Fluffy blankets and pajamas sound much better than getting on a dirty city bus to go sit in my office. I'm also usually fried by the end of November. This fall has been very busy with submitting fellowship proposals, developing my dissertation research, and taking classes.

Felisa is gone this week to a conference in New Zealand. It's really bad timing. We have a book chapter due NOW, and we haven't even put together a first draft. I'm getting nervous, but there's really only so much I can do. While she's gone I'll continue to write and edit my part, and I'm also trying to figure out a conceptual diagram to include in the chapter. If I have that finished for when she gets back I'll feel confident that I've done all I can.

As I wrap up this semester, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when I get back from winter break. What are my goals for the spring? By mid January I hope to have a manuscript submitted, so I'll be dealing with the fallout from that project. In all likelihood the paper won't get accepted right away, and so I'll be spending time editing the paper for resubmission at other journals. Not all journals use the same format, some are REALLY different, so the amount of effort will depend on where we send it and what the reviewer comments say.

My committee expects that I will give a department talk on my master's research some time in the spring, so I want to get some preliminary data on some of my research. It will be easier to talk about future research directions if I can make a little headway on some projects between now and then. The projects that will involve going to museum collections or doing field work will obviously not be something I can talk too much about, but I have some data from databases I can play with in the mean time.

I'm really eager to get home to Connecticut. I miss everyone so much, and it's always too long between visits. I'm excited that we're getting a tree this year, we haven't had one in 4 years. I get anxious when I don't see my family for long stints, especially with my grandmother not doing so great. I think if I manage to not get sick this year, it's going to be a really nice Christmas. Last year was awful, I picked up a stomach flu right after the holiday and Matt and I were sick for most of the break.

The big thing I am looking forward to when I get back in January is the kitty Matt and I adopted. He will finally be coming home with us. We went to PetCo last week and we found such a wonderful cat, we adopted him even though the timing isn't right. Luckily, his foster mommy is willing to keep him until we get back from break, so he can stay comfortable at her house. He's so sweet and handsome!

Mom's Visit: Days 7 & 8

 My mom is really into archaeological stuff, so on Friday we headed up north to Bandelier National Monument, and I hadn't been there yet myself. The monument preserves the ruins from ancient Pueblo dwellings that were build into the volcanic rock cliffs. The rocks in this area are made of welded volcanic ash, and over time this rock weathers into a weird Swiss cheese pattern. The ancient Pueblos enlarged these natural holes as part of their homes.

On the drive up. You can see the fire line from the Las Conchas fire near this farm.

Checking out a kiva. This structure would have had a ceiling on it originally.

Ruins from dwellings at the base of the cliff. You can see the "Swiss cheese" texture of the ash on the cliff.

Close up of the cliff rocks, and some cute cacti.

Mom and me in a cliff dwelling.

Over the summer the area was damaged because of flooding, so some trails were closed. The main loop was open, however, and we got to climb up into a few of the ruins.The Las Conchas fire up near Los Alamos resulted in a lot of forested area being destroyed, including part of the monument. With the trees gone, runoff from the few storms we did get resulted in flash flooding that damaged trails and some of the ruins. We also weren't able to drive into the monument ourselves, half of the parking was unavailable and we were bussed in. During the flooding, the monument had to destroy the bridges that went to one of the parking lots, they were trying to avoid log dams from debris collecting on the bridges. Still, I think we saw a lot and it was an excellent trip. It turned out to be a good day, it was a little overcast with partial sun, and it wasn't too hot. I hate nothing more than traipsing around in the heat. It had been a weird week for weather, it was more like the North East than the Southwest.

Saturday was a day to unwind from all the excitement of the past 7 days. We had a special lunch at La Crepe Michel, which is a cute French cafe in Old Town. We had delicious savory crepes for our meal, and then Matt and I got sweet crepes for desert. My mom got an apple tart that also looked amazing.

La Crepe Michel

Cute side alley in Old Town

Ristras and Dream Catchers

Places we ate during Mom's visit:
Maria's New Mexican Restaurant - Santa Fe

The Railyard Second Street Brewery - Santa Fe
2000 Vietnam Restaurant - Albuquerque
The Frontier Restaurant - Albuquerque
Il Vicino - Albuquerque
Sadies II - Albuqueruqe
La Crepe Michel - Allbuquerque

Mom's Visit: Days 5 & 6

Wednesdays are always hectic and busy, I have lab meeting, a seminar, and the PiBBS course. This keeps me at school from 11am-5:30pm. I had Matt and my Mom come in after lab group to have lunch with me after lab group, and many from my lab joined us. We had a big group of us at the Frontier Restaurant, which is kind of a landmark in Albuquerque. It's also a good place to get a quick lunch since it has a ton of seating and they get the food out fast. My mom got to meet my adviser and a couple other people in my lab, which was nice.

Later in the afternoon I decided I should go to my class, because I had a group project due the next week. The class ended up being a complete waste of time, and I would have better spent my afternoon with family. I did, however, get a little bit done in my office so it wasn't a complete waste.

We had to call it an early night on Wednesday, because we were going to be getting up at dawn again to go to the special shapes rodeo at the Fiesta. The special shapes rodeo is when they do an ascension in the morning with just the shape balloons. Unfortunately the winds were really strong and they didn't launch the balloons, but we did get to walk around and see all of them inflated.

Mom and me at the gate. Last year I went through the red entrance.

Meghan and Jason. We got to hang out with these characters at 4:30am.

I think Matt and I look pretty awake for before dawn.

Sunrise over Spider Pig

1) This is why our relationship works 2) We really want a cat 3) This balloon is hilarious

Some shapes... Look! It's an arc and a fish, and a cactus with sunglasses...

... a flying pig, Sugar Bear, and a cute cat balloon with a sketchy cat face on the back...

All the way from New Zealand, that's supposed to be a Kiwi.

After the rodeo, we stopped for coffee and Meghan and I were dropped off for our paleoclimate class. Immediately after class I headed home for more family fun time. We spent the afternoon at the petroglyphs. I always like going to the monument to look at the petroglyphs, it's a nice hike in some of the areas, and it's also a great place to bring visitors. My mom really seemed to enjoy it, despite the wind that day.

No petroglyphs were sat upon during the taking of this picture.

We hiked to the top of this hill, there were petroglyhs scattered around on boulders everywhere.

Mom's New Mexico Visit: Days 3 & 4

After a weekend of getting up really early, we took a couple of leisurely days to recover. On Monday we hung around town, and went to Old Town earlier in the day for some shopping. My mom originally had the idea of getting a locally made ring, but nothing really appealed to her when we actually got in the stores. However, she ended up finding a watch with white buffalo stone inlay.

It hadn't occurred to me that Old Town would be crowded. Every time I've been before it's pretty dead. However, since the Balloon Fiesta was drawing people from all over the place, it was kind of a bustling place to be. There was even some entertainment in the town square, with music and dancing.

A Mariachi band in the town center. The guy with the guitarron kept making funny faces and wiggling his big eyebrows.

Later in the afternoon I brought my mom to the knitting club I usually go to on Mondays. We meet at 5:30pm after work at Bailey's on the Beach, a restaurant that is really close to campus, has tasty food, and sangria. My mom mostly went because of the promise of sangria, but I like to think she also wanted to meet my friends and hang out with me. Usually I like their food, but they have a habit of putting spice into everything. Unfortunately, the pasta my mom got was a little too spicy and we stopped on the way home to get her a burger. We had been eating a lot of spicy food lately, and we just needed to give our digestive systems a break.

Tuesday morning I had to suck it up and head in to school to go to class. It was my turn to lead discussion in my paleoclimate class, otherwise I might have skipped this one time. Tuesday also turned out to be a sucky weather day, so we had to take our wholesome activities indoors. We decided to get lunch at the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, which was pretty good. I got pasole and an indian taco salad. Indian tacos are kind of like fried dough with taco stuff on top. This time it had carne adovada, which is always a good choice. Lunch was tasty, if not healthy.

It started to actually rain while we were at lunch, but we were already at the cultural center, so we decided to check out the exhibits and go through the museum. They have native dance performances pretty much every day, so we checked that out. Photos were allowed for this particular performance, although the lighting was bad and it was hard to get a good shot of the dancers who were moving fast. I can't remember what the first dance was called, but it was supposed to be the old way of doing the dance. The dancer was covered in eagle feathers. The second dance was the Jingle Dress Dance. The metal cones on the dress are supposed to call to healing spirits. The story that went along with the dance was that a grandfather was instructed to have this dress made for his deathly ill grand daughter. The little girl began to dance, and the spirits heard the jingling from the objects on the dress, and she was healed.

Traditional Dance

Jingle Dress Dance

The next program was done by some young adult Navajos, but since their presentation was more of a religious nature I didn't take any pictures. They demonstrated grinding cornmeal, the basket dance, and a bow and arrow dance. The "performers" looked like they were maybe in high school or college. We learned that the average age of a person within the Navajo nation is about 21, which is really young.

After the performances, we looked at an exhibit on the 19 Pueblos in New Mexico. In addition to the Pueblo, New Mexico also has resident Navajo and Apache Nations. The had a photo exhibit from Laguna Pueblo, and had images from Grab Day, which was associated with a movie documentary about the day and this tribe. It was a special project because many tribes are very private and don't allow photography in their villages. The rest of the museum exhibited the history, crafts, and traditions of the tribes of New Mexico.

Mom's Visit to New Mexico: Days 1 & 2

What a fantastic week! Mom got in in the late evening last Friday for her 8-day vacation in New Mexico. The visit was timed with the balloon fiesta; after seeing my pictures from last year, my mom decided immediately that she must make it here for that week, specifically.

Saturday morning we were up and on the road by 5:30am, which by Fiesta weekend standards is late. We were on our way to one of the mass ascensions, where they inflate a launch literally hundreds of hot air balloons.

Balloons being inflated before lift off.

The Darth Vader balloon was back again this year from Belgium.

Two new shape balloons: Spider Pig and a huge butterfly (it's left antenna was having a  little trouble here).

Took this one for my Mom's friend Al who, like this balloon, is from Jordan.

"Stay inflated my friends"

The Bees

Just like last year, I took dozens more photos than will actually end up on this blog. I'll need to do something with them this time around, I certainly have enough for Fiesta themed photo presents for birthday's and holidays.

On Sunday we went to the Taos Wool Festival.
I always get an interesting reaction from people when I say I'm going to a wool festival. First of all, you get to see cute/funny animals. Secondly, the drive is beautiful. Third, there are lots of pretty things to look at and buy. So don't knock the wool festival until you've tried it.

An alpaca that is cute/silly.

Disapproving Llama, disapproves of me taking its picture.

I ended up buying some very nice yarn to make knitted gifts for Matt and my Mom. They picked the yarn, but the surprise will still be there when I finish the projects. I also left with a warm and fuzzy fleece headband and a drop spindle to make my own yarn. It isn't enough that I spend money and time on knitting and crocheting and materials, I now feel the need to make yarn too. Overachiever.

On the drive back from Taos, we stopped at the Rio Grande Gorge for a view over the bridge.

Rio Grande

My Mom, with the wind in her hair.

Taos Wool Festival Gang

Me and Matteo

Second tarantula I've seen in this area of NM. This guy was crawling around the ladies bathroom at the rest stop.

Connecticut Trip: The Final Recap

Some of you may be wondering why it is taking me so long to write about my travels this summer, and why I am doing it after the fact. True, doing it during my trips would have made this simpler, but for security reasons I don't like publicizing when I'm not home for long stretches.

I've also been catching up at school and have had some health stuff come up, but that's another post.

While I was home I wanted to make sure I got at least one beach day in, since New Mexico is land locked, and I don't want to cross over into Mexico to see the ocean. On Thursday we went to Ocean Beach Park, in New London, CT. On the one hand, it's nice to have bathrooms and food easily accessible. On the other hand, it costs $14 to park, which is kind of nutty. But then on the other hand again, it's a pretty clean beach, so I guess you have to pay for it somehow. I never use it, but for an additional fee they also have a small water park and mini golf.

When I go to the beach, my primary objective is to be as lazy as possible. I always being books and snacks and spend a good bit of time sleeping. I did get into the water, of course, and it was a nice break from the heat. Matt was reluctant to go in much further than waist deep, which is actually counter productive. You need to just get in, get it over with, and you'll feel much better afterward. Standing around shivering just allows you to get splashed. Being in the ocean also means you sometimes pick up hitch-hikers, like this arthropod that must have gotten on our blanket via Matt's bathing suit (eek!)...

My other favorite thing about going to the ocean is just walking up and down the shore, looking at whatever I can find. Ocean Beach has a bunch of these pinking half clam shell looking things that are actually snail shells. They're really pretty. While looking out over the water, a huge sail ship was coming in for OpSail, a tall ships event that goes on every year. They sometimes have historical ships, the one we saw was pretty far off shore but I think it was a Class A ship. I could be wrong, I don't really know much about ships.

On Friday evening Lura and Steve had us over for home made pizza and game night. I have to say, I really miss these guys and I always look forward to seeing them when I visit. It's funny because I wasn't super close with Lura in high school, but we've become pretty good friends because we kept in contact through college. There aren't too many people I still see regularly since I've left CT, not because I wanted that to happen, but it takes a lot of work on both sides to keep up.

Matt and I specifically made room in our suitcases to bring some board games along on our trip, with the hopes of having a game night. We successfully stowed away Settler's of Catan and Flux. We brought Settler's to Lura and Steve's, and also showed them a new card game we learned from our friends in Socorro called Oh Bleep! All in all, it was a fun evening.

For some reason that still escapes me, East Hartford had it's July 4th fireworks on July 9th (maybe because it was a Saturday). Matt, my Mom, and I went down to the river for some fried dough, whatever free stuff we could find, and pulled pork sandwiches before the fireworks. Despite my town having no money, and the supposed economic apocalypse that our country is going through, the fireworks were actually really good this year. The town sets them off from two barges in the river, and we got a really good seat up on the levee. Aqua, who I haven't seen in over a year, was supposed to meet us but she got held up and I didn't see her until after the show was over. Regardless we chatted while she enjoyed her much needed fried dough. The next time I'm home, I'm having her over for tea for a proper visit. No excuses.

Whirlwind Tour East: Fourth of July and Some Lobby

Normally I don't like abandoning my blog for long periods of time, but I've been traveling to visit friends and family for the past couple weeks. Shortly after returning from the mammal conference in Portland, Matt and I headed to Connecticut and Virginia.

There never seems to be enough time to see the people I care about. That's true regardless of if my visits are a week or a month long. I haven't been back home since Christmas, which thanks to a stomach virus, wasn't the most productive trip. This time no one got sick, my mom took some time off of work to be with me, and I feel like we got more out of my visit.

On July 4th I met up with Jenn to go to the annual Willimantic Boom Box Parade. We got there early to get a seat on the porch at the Willimantic Brewery. It was so weird, and also fun. The parade has no marching bands, but a radio station plays marching music and people bring radios, and there were also some speakers set up at the parade itself. It also seems like just about anyone can march in this thing, and there were individual people marching, church groups, political groups, and businesses that participated. It's kind of hard to describe, because it's such a random assortment of entertainment. I'd like to be able to go again next year.

In the afternoon Lura and Steve stopped by to say hello, chat, and make plans for later in the week. We sat out on the patio, drank Hosmer Mountain sodas, and caught up. Later in the afternoon Grandma and Uncle Dave came over and we grilled some chicken and enjoyed other cookout stuff. I really value even these short visits with people, I've always liked just sitting around, being with people, talking. Sometimes I feel like there's an expectation to always be "doing" something, but to me this counts as "something". I did it more in high school and college with friends. It's sad it doesn't happen more often, because graduate school has made me into an accomplished breeze shooter.

On Tuesday my Mom, Matt, and I drove down to Abbots in Noank, CT for a lobster lunch. It might seem silly to make a trip like that, but after being in New Mexico, and no where near an ocean and reliable seafood, it isn't weird. We enjoyed some steamed mussels while we waited for our lunch, and took in some nice scenery. We sat out on the dock that looks out over the marina nearby.

CT Holiday Recap

Despite my best efforts to keep up with my blog, the past week has been kind of a train wreck, so I haven't been up to the task. This is also supposed to be a blog about my PhD, and currently, I haven't done anything academically related since I'm on break.

After Christmas I had a couple of days of just hanging around; the blizzard we got made travel extra exciting and I had to postpone my trip to PA to pick up Matt by one day. On the day of the blizzard, before it got really bad, I managed to meet up with Lura for some coffee. I tested the road-worthiness of my mom's little Ford Focus, and I have to say, it isn't nearly as good as my station wagon for managing winter conditions. I had a nice visit with Lura, although it was short, and made it home without incident.

Once the blizzard let up I made the four hour journey to PA to visit with Matt and his family for an afternoon. Then, the two of us started back for CT. Somewhere past Scranton I started to feel a little queezy. 2am rolled around once we were back home, and I was violently ill for a good 12 hours. I figured it had to be food poisoning, since it came on so fast and I felt a little better once I was thoroughly empty. This turned out to not be the case, because two days later, on New Year's Eve, Matt became violently ill with all the same symptoms. So far, thankfully, no one else I was around has gotten sick. This is especially important for my grandmother, who isn't in the best of health anyway. Hopefully no one else catches it. It was absolutely no fun, and the end part of my visit in CT was spent sick. Rather than visiting with people I had been waiting months to see, Matt and I were eating applesauce and broth and watching horrible daytime television. But, that happens, sometimes breaks are spent sick. I can vividly recall spending a couple Christmases as a child with the flu. In a lot of ways, I'm glad I was home with my mommy and Matt, instead of trying to find people to cover me at work back at school. This could have happened during the semester, which would have introduced a whole other dimension of annoyance.

Yesterday we took the train in to DC to visit with Matt's family and friends for the rest of the break. Matt still isn't back to eating regularly; I am, but with some mild discomfort. The next couple of days will only bring better health. The train ride into Virginia was pleasant, it was nice not driving and I'll definitely use it again for this kind of trip. I think the train is seriously underrated as a means of transportation in this country. It's not always the most convenient, but when it works out it is great.

As for the people I didn't get to visit with at home, and the plans I needed to back out of, I'll definitely be back for a visit in the summer. That's such a long ways off, though. Spring break in March is still uncertain, I was hoping to go somewhere in the South to visit friends down there. The invitation to come see us in New Mexico is still open, however, if anyone wants to take us up on it.

An Upbeat Christmas

Today was Christmas, and the family grouped together last night for our annual Christmas Eve party, here are the highlights:

We spent most of yesterday at my grandmother's house cooking, getting her ready, and visting with my mother's aunt and cousin. There were no big problems this year, and we all got out the door on time.

My uncles Dave and Johnny went in one car, and were supposed to follow us in my mom's car. Somewhere on route 2 we started questioning whether or not they were behind us. We got off the highway to get some coffee, and they were nowhere to be found. Neither of my uncles had their cell phone, which was highly unusual.

Dave and John, running out of gas, got to a McDonalds and finally called us. The two trouble makers were having a grand old time. Once everone was back on track, my mom went out to meet them and retrieve them. So dinner started late, but here were plenty of snacks to hold everyone over.
Dinner was great, as usual.

Present opening happened promptly this year. My poor grandmother's bad memory meant she couldn't remember that she had gifts for all the grandchildren. This meant that every 5 minutes or so we were weepily informed that she had nothing to give anyone. It's heartbreaking that 1) she can't recall anything 2) she can't figure out that we'll make sure she's got everything she needs and 3) she doesn't realize that all we really care about is her being there.

Lauren and I exchanged gifts with each other this year. I got cookie cutters and a new rolling pin. I gave her the card game "Fluxx", the version that has a zombie theme. Very holiday appropriate, I must say.

For the first time ever, Lauren and I interacted with our other cousins Sydney and Hannah. Buying that game was the best thing ever, the four of us played for the rest of the evening. Lauren's parents were in a rush to get home, so I told them I'd get her back so they didn't make her leave. I didn't want to cut down on the already short time we had together. This was the best part of the evening, for me anyway. It really meant a lot to have all the girls doing something together.

Matt wasn't there, which I think really dissappointed Aunt Kim. Neither of my aunts have met him yet. I don't know when we'll finally have the family meet him, officially; but, first we need to sort out the technical details of the holidays a little better. Matt has already said that next year, we're traveling together. I concur. An impending snowstorm for Monday is going to spoil my travel plans, and it looks like I won't get to PA or see Matt and his family until Tuesday.

This morning mom and I exchanged gifts: I got a really cool sweater and a jewlery organizer that was shaped like a tree. The sweater is really great, it's warm and looks awesome. I need to cull my sweater collection when I get back to school, I have too many old and out of date sweaters. I'll probably donate them, there isn't anything structurally wrong with them, and I'm sure there are people that could use them. I keep seeing nice sweaters that I would like but that I refuse to buy. I have nowhere to put them because the old ones are taking up too much space.

Mom and I were so busy yesterday that we didn't quite get everything we intended for dinner this evening, and absolutely no grocery stores were open today. No big deal, we improvised with what we had around the house and what we could locate at convenience stores. We ended up having roast pork tenderloin with squash and scalloped potatoes. For dessert, an apple tart. Everything ended up coming together well, despite the initial setback.

Dave, my cousin JP, and my grandmother all came over for dinner. The five of us had a really nice evening. I don't spend that kind of time with JP, ever. He's usually working or out doing something, and I only ever catch him briefly at my grandmother's house.

This year I not only got to spend time with the family I'm already close with, but I got a little extra with those I haven't interacted with in a while. I hope that we can repeat this next year.

Why I Keep This Up (Christmas)

The truth of the matter is, I don't know my family all that well. I mean I really don't know a good majority of them. Sure, I know their names, their rough ages, where they live, and a few other broad details. However, I know the same things about other people I casually interact with. In total, I probably spend more time with one random person at the bus stop every year than half of the people I am blood related to in some form or another.

I'm going to venture a guess that my situation is the same for many people, especially those who have moved further than 100 miles away from the place they grew up. I can only assume that part of this is because for seven years I lived over 300 miles away from home. Now, I'm a three day drive - 1700 miles. However, I felt this rift start long before I was even out of high school.

Blood relation doesn't guarantee a relationship. There is a degree of effort that is essential to building bonds. It's the reason that some friendship that lasted throughout 12 years of grade school can dissolve quickly after only a year away at college. Some family members have invested this effort, and I've reciprocated, and those relationships are strong.

I'm a picky person with friends, the people with whom I choose to associate with more than necessary. I can get along with almost anyone, but there are a select few that make the cut. Some happen to be family members, others I've collected from various places along the way. I like to think that I like people as a whole, this is exemplified by my annoyance with people who loath humanity.

I find it rather disturbing how little I know about some of the people I have a family relationship to. Shouldn't I know more than name, age, occupation? Shit, I'm not even sure I know occupation for all of them. I don't really know. I just know how things are.

So why do I, year after year, get together for Holidays with people I hardly know, that I hardly have anything in common with? I'm not even entirely sure that all of my relations give me a second thought, so why do I persist in this ritual? I've thought about this at length (especially after daydreaming about not coming home for Christmas and going on a cruise because Christmas in Connecticut it cold, and cold sucks). The conclusion I have reached is that, unlike the friends I have, many of my family members have been around for all or most of my existence. They can remember things from when I was too small to recall anything. They know about people that I never met, who in some way influenced my existence (deceased grandparents, for example). They hold all this information; and, if I lose them, I innevitably lose a part of myself. Maybe that's why every time I go away it's painful for me with the special ones, the ones that know me best, the ones I actually know something about.

I will say this: I spent my first Thanksgiving without a blood relative this year. I didn't have much of a shared history with anyone there; so, as much as I love them, and as nice as it was, it wasn't the same.

So, despite the fact that I don't know much about some family members, I'm going to keep up the ritual of getting together a couple times a year for as long as I can. I like rituals, they are predictable and they make me feel safe. Besides - despite the fact that I can't logically explain the warmth I feel towards these people, it is nice so who really cares? And it could be worse. Much. Much. Worse. I've heard about worse, and I'll take my chances with my own family, thanks.

So, bring on the perogies, and I'm sorry if the eggnog sucks this year.

Northeast For The Holidays

I've been slacking, as in slacking off on seeing people since I've been home. It's not that I don't want to see people, I do; this time of year, being home alone while mom is at work, and the chaos puts me in a droopy mood.

I am glad to be home though. It's so important to me that I'm getting to see my mom, Grandma, and Uncle Dave. I'll see the Georgiades clan on Friday evening, as per usual holiday plans. We pack the car up, and head on out to my Uncle Rob's house for a tall tree, fireplace, and more food than any human being should eat in one evening. I'm making egg nog again, as usual. I wonder if Mom has reminded Dave that he is invited? This year I think I'll make some cookies while I'm home: some to bring to Christmas Eve, some to give away to friends.

I have been successful in seeing Jenn. We had breakfast together my first morning back. We went to the Glastonbury Coffee Shop, one of the best places to get breakfast. It's kind of small, which means it can be kind of drafty in the winter, but it has a charm that is quinticential to this area. And it's been around forever, I've been going since I was an infant. My family used to go every weekend.

Jenn and I met up again this evening to puts around the mall area. We hit Target and Red Robin, and then went to the dreaded mall. I promised myself I wouldn't go to the mall until Christmas was done, but we met up with Katie and she needed to return something. I didn't have any shopping to do, so I figured wandering around and looking at sparkly objects wouldn't be too bad. It was a nice evening; homefully I can see Jenn again next week before I head out to Virginia.

I haven't seen Lura yet, but we've made Facebook contact. It's just a matter of time, and not having work or something else in the way, until we hang out. Maybe this weekend? If not, it'll have to wait until I return from PA with Matt on Tuesday.

Being back home where there is TV is SO dangerous. I've been wasting my life watching stupid things, and it's really rather pathetic. My mom and all my friends aren't available till the evening, so I've just been kind of vegging out. I did go out yesterday to try to complete my Christmas shopping. I'm about 98% done. I found a really cool shop, but I can't talk about it yet, or people will know what I got them for gifts. But it was so neat!

There was coffee and cookies with Uncle Dave on Sunday, and lunch with Mom today. So, I guess after the final analysis, my break so far has been fairly productive, after all.

I should be getting my publication together. Hmm, yes.